*I wrote this two years ago and posted it on one of my old blogs on Yahoo 360, but I felt like it was apropos to repost it today.*

Where were you when it happened. Given the date, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. What types of thoughts went through your mind? Fear? Disbelief? Anger? Happiness? As the day progressed, what types of things did you see happening around you? Just wondering. I can recall alot about the day.

Let’s see. I woke up around 10:00 am or so, I think I turned the television on, but I wasn’t paying it any attention. My pager (yes, pager) had been ringing off the hook with news alerts, but I wasn’t paying attention to those either. I didn’t have class until about 1pm that day so I walked over to the College of Business and Industry at Central State University, just to get online and see if Michael Jordan had made a decision about whether or not to come back to the NBA for a third time. I found the news story I was looking for. The people across from me were talking about something. One girl was saying how she was worried because her husband was working at the Pentagon building and she couldn’t reach him. Someone else walked into the lab and said they couldn’t believe the craziness that was going on, but I was still oblivious.

That was when I looked at CNN, or MSN, or something. For the record, I think it was MSN. They had a picture of people running to escape the debris from the fall of the first tower I believe. I read the story, and I just couldn’t believe it. It didn’t seem real. I printed out the article, if I look good enough I can probably find in in my school folders somewhere. I went back to my room and this time I turned the television and paid attention and saw what was going on, with the video footage and everything else. They kept showing it over and over, slow-motion, zoom ins, and everything.

I went to class after that, but we didn’t do anything related to Quantitative Business Analysis. We basically had a discussion about what was going on and how we felt. The professor was Iranian and he knew that there would be some backlash just based on how he looked. Interesting conversation, lots of valid points brought up. After that my friend, John and I went into town to go to the bank I think. On the way back, we heard a loud noise…when we got back to the campus, people were saying that a jet had blown up at Wright Patterson Air Force Base, that was later debunked by the local news authorities.  Later that day, rumors started circulating that there was a shortage of gasoline and that everyone needed to fill up because there was no telling when there would be anymore. Many folks, including myself, bought into that hyperbole and waited in long lines at gas stations across the “city” of Xenia, Ohio. I also picked up a few items like milk and water as well.

Upon getting back to the campus, I spent the rest of the evening with friends watching the reports, and just talking. It was a very interesting day for the world. I don’t think that anyone was expecting anything like this to ever happen in this country. We’re supposed to be too advanced for that, right? Many folks have their own beliefs and theories as to what happened and they are entitled to that, but at the end of the day…it still happened, and we need to work with that instead of continuing to shuffle blame from here to there.

Many people were lost due to the cowardice acts of September 11, 2001, the powers that be need to work harder to find those responsible and serve justice accordingly. Steps are being taken, but it’s five seven years later…I need to see more. Again, just my opinion and my experience. What about you?

God Bless America, right?

I’ve been doing this alot lately…just reflecting on things that I’d like to do in the future or things that I’m currently doing that I can improve on. Not neccesarily feeling down, but more like…contemplative, inspired, or determined…if that makes sense.

I don’t really have too much to say at the moment…I needed to put these posts together to try out this new slideshow thing that I wanted to implement. It’s okay I suppose. If I don’t like it, I can always go back to the tabs.

It’s early in the warm spring/summer months and I don’t think that I’ve eaten so much ice cream in a long time. It’s almost as if I had forgotten how good it can be. I like ice cream with brownie pieces or pieces of chocolate. Favorites include Breyer’s Vanilla Fudge Brownie Chunk and Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie. I better put this stuff down..no wonder I’m gaining all this weight.

I don’t really have too much to say at the moment…I needed to put these posts together to try out this new slideshow thing that I wanted to implement. It’s okay I suppose. If I don’t like it, I can always go back to the tabs.

I hate when my drafts get deleted by accident…anyways, it’s getting hot outside..perhaps a few weeks ahead of schedule and that can only mean one thing.

People are about to lose their minds.

Whether it’s driving like they have no sense (I see you -1-), starting a fight at the family reunion, or having the nerve to step outside in something they know they had no business wearing…it’s about to get ridiculous out here and I can’t wait to see it all.

I don’t mind the crazy driving so much, as I can get out there and drive just as crazy as they do. Some people like to call that defensive driving. I try to stay away from the drama, especially family drama. I’m all about peace…usually.

I do however look forward to seeing what’s new in the world of Hot Ass Messes. You can usually spot the latest and greatest at places such as nightclubs, the hottest concerts, summer festivals, and amusement parks.

I also hope to get an opportunity to take a few pictures of some of the summer sights, HAM’s and otherwise. Perhaps do a little traveling. What are your plans for the upcoming summer months.

Yeah, I’m nosy.

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[Visit MannyWallace.Com To Hear Audio]

OK, maybe it’s not that serious. I’m just getting into one of those moods I get into again. I’ll go do a few things to make myself feel better and all will be well again.

Yeah.

Open (050:366)

Originally uploaded by MannyWallace

I posted this picture and poem a couple months ago over on my Flickr. I wasn’t sure if i had posted it here or not. As it turns out, I hadn’t..so I’ll do it now.

“The Open Door”
It’s been many moons since the departure, but the door is still open
I’ve never tried to close it, perhaps wishin’ and hopin’
For a return, and possibly being graced by that presence
Sometimes I get so anxious like a child searching for presents
I start to creep up to the door, but I quickly jump back into place
Possibly scared that it might just slam shut right in my face

I just want to sneak a peek, and get a look at the action
But then again I’m not exactly sure what would be my reaction
Surprise? Disappointment? Will I be overcome with grief?
But then the door opens wider, providing some sort of relief
There’s even been a time or two when you poke your head out to say “hey”
And all of my nervousness and apprehension seems to go right away

I thank you for that, I dread the moment when you go back to what you were doing
You go back to that other side and chase the things you were pursuing
Do your thing, in the meanwhile I will continue to do mine
And maybe we will meet up back again in due time
There ain’t no telling, I just do my best…no less, no more
And I guess I’ll see you again the next time that you’re at the open door.

©2008 E. Christian Wallace

I get into these moods from time to time. I’ll feel lonely, discouraged, unappreciated, upset angry, and essentially any other adjective that can be used to describe that feeling of “blah”

I seem to escape them, by either sleeping, eating, playing around on the internet or talking to a few folks on the phone (about other things). I usually just keep my hangups to myself and deal with them in one of the aforementioned ways. However, I’m starting to notice that the intensity of those moods and feelings is growing. I’m even becoming more lethargic in my day to day activities. Almost as if I’ve adopted some sort of “fuck it” attitude.

Not good.

I think most of it stems from my personal belief that I’ve grossly underachieved in my life so far. I feel like know I could be doing so much more with myself than what I’m doing, but for some reason, it hasn’t quite worked out like that yet. I’m well aware that I’m not the only one who feels this way and I also know that people endure things that are far worse so I’m not attempting to organize a pity party.

Someone once told me that I’m fully capable of changing things if I wanted to do so and that somewhere inside of me I must be afraid to do so for whatever reason. They may have been right. I don’t know for certain.

I’d often listen to this song by Devin The Dude called “Anythang”. It really helped to put things in perspective for me and let me know that my issues aren’t shit compared to others:

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“You ain’t the only one who got problems
You ain’t the only one who knows pain
Get up off your ass and just solve them
You still got a chance to try to change – try the shit again…”

“Really ain’t no need for self pity
Cryin when there’s no one else around
Life I know sometimes can get shitty
Even shittier is sleepin on the ground – no need to complain..”

Another thing that used to make me feel better was neck and shoulder rubs. I think it was the warmth and both the figurative and literal feeling of having someone behind me that helped to bolster my mood and allow me to think that I could accomplish anything that I wanted to. I haven’t had one of those in a long while. Yeah, that’s what I need.

Maybe someday

So I like taking pictures and all…I have these two personal photo projects that I’m working on over at Flickr where I have to take at least one picture per day. They call them 365 Days (or in my case 366). One project is self portraits and with the other one I can shoot whatever I want. Anyways, when I first started, would try to take songs that I like and try to match them up with a picture that told the story of the song. This O’jays tune was one of my favorites, but I don’t think too many people got the correlation betwixt the two. And of course it’s been sampled a few times.

[Visit MannyWallace.Com To Hear Audio]

“What Am I Waiting For”

Oh baby, yeah, oh baby yeah

What am I waiting for
Well, she ain’t comin back no more
What am I waiting for
I know, she ain’t comin back no more

Well, well, well well

I’m about to lose my mind
I been waiting such a long long time
As I stare out the window with the tears on my face
Will there ever be a lover to take my woman’s place

What am I waiting for (waiting, waiting)
She ain’t comin back no more (I’ll be waiting)
What am I waiting for
She ain’t comin back no more (no no, no no, no no no)

Sitting in this house alone
Reading the note that says you’re leaving home
Well well, the only thing you left me was the dog and the cat
When I looked in the bedroom I knew she wasn’t coming back

What am I waiting for (waiting, waiting… and I know)
She ain’t comin back no more (somehow, I don’t believe)
What am I waiting for (baby baby no)
She ain’t comin back no more (And I cry, late at night, I cry)

On another note, I’m not sure how many more children Eddie has, but I’d be getting close to them. I couldn’t fathom having to mourn the loss of a child, let alone two.

American Winter (051:366)

Originally uploaded by MannyWallace
Just reposting a poem and picture that I posted on Flickr about a month ago. Trying to get focused and motivated enough to write a bit more

Gil Scott-Heron has a song called Winter In America (see below). He said that he felt as if the seasons in society were no longer changing.

I’ve been trying to write a piece of the same name since the summer. I made a little progress on it, but I’d like to flesh it out a bit. Maybe

“Winter In America”
Trudging through the slush, trying to justify my existence
Following the suggested routes, just to find resistance
What is this? I find myself slipping on black ice
I hope that no one saw me, but I fell on my back twice

It’s a cold, harsh, and unforgiving society that we live in
The key to staying warm is a strong will to never give in
It’s hard when the temperature drops and it keeps on snowing
But I think that faith in a higher power is enough to keep on going

Some people will pull out their decks of cards and blame things on race
I know that racism still exists and I think that’s a disgrace
If you ask me, I think it’s moreso a matter of class
Being poor with an opinion don’t get you much more than a foot in the ass
There are some folks out there that say education’s a joke
Spending all this this money and time to come out and go for broke

A bunch of frozen aspirations and a bunch of frozen hope
Millions of people trying to find a way to cope
Frostbite and fallacies, hypothermia and hysteria
It’s getting colder by the minute, this is winter in America.

©2008 E. Christian Wallace

[Visit MannyWallace.Com To Hear Audio]

[Visit MannyWallace.Com To Hear Audio]

I was tagged to make this magazine cover by the dude ’80. I’d never done one of these before, but I guess it wasn’t so bad. I don’t really have anyone else to tag so I guess it will end here, but if you want to do this for yourself, you can go here to MagMyPic